It’s strange how the image of someone covered in tattoos has negative connotations. But gone are the days when those fully covered were regarded as criminals or dangerous. Or are they? Do people still make assumptions based on body adornments? What do you think?

Now I’m someone who’s got a fair share of ink and tatts, which all seemed like good ideas at the time (and don’t get me wrong, I still love all of them) but it’s just a fact that when you’re about to get a brand new addition to the ever-growing family of body mods there are certain things that piercers or tattoo artists don’t tell you. So to aid any distressed people out there pondering the unknown here’s this Friday’s Top 5:


1: ORAL PIERCINGS CHIP YOUR TEETH.

This is something that is virtually unavoidable, unless you’re inhumanly careful or don’t leave your lip ring bar in too long after it’s been pierced ( like someone I know… *cough*me*cough*). So far 6 chips in my teeth and counting – I’m aiming to look like a toothless sailor by the time I hit 30 ­čÖé

 

2: STRETCHED EAR TUNNELS SMELL TERRIBLE.

When your ears are expanded excess dead skin builds up around your plugs making your ears smell like a hobo being sick on a dead rabid dog, unless you clean them every couple of weeks. Sounds lovely dunnit?

 

3: UNPROFESSIONAL PIERCERS = IDIOTIC.

I know going to a licensed piercing shop takes all the fun out of going down a back alley and getting a stranger to jab your ear with a paperclip, but seriously do it properly. DONT be an idiot and get your mates to pierce your ear for you DIY. You’ll regret it… Or maybe your ear will fall off.

 

4: SEPTUM WHAT?

Strangely enough septum piercings don’t hurt to get done – but only if you get it done by the right piercer who knows how to get the sweet spot – the bit of skin between the two bits of┬ácartilage in your nose. Just don’t get a bloody moron to do it (see point #3).

 

5: TATTS ITCH LIKE F***

About a week after getting some new ink the skin dries and turns into a irritating scab-like thing that torments you day and nightly with it’s unbearable itchiness until you just want to scrub it off your skin with a brillo pad or a cheese grater or a porcupine. Ah the joys of tattoos…